So there I was, minding my own business in my room after a nice long run by the river. I was still disgusting and sweaty when my señora came in and invited me upstairs to the housewarming party she was having on her terrace. I needed a break from the studying I wasn’t doing, so I followed her up and took a seat. She said that she had invited a “cuenta cuentos” to her party, which I took to mean some kind of storyteller. Intrigued, I sat back and listened.
I’m going to preface this by asking the universe, how do I get myself into these situations?...There were two “cuenta cuentos” a younger guy and girl most likely in their late twenties. They stood there in front of a semicircle of 40-somethings and started to tell their stories.
The first one, the tamest of the three went a little something like this:
Once upon a time in a far away land lived a young prince. The prince contracted a mysterious illness, and asked his best friend to take care of his three greatest treasures: his mother, his sister, and his wife, the princess. So his best friend had sex with all of them. The end.
Maybe it was just me, but when the cuenta cuentos started talking about taking off clothes, touching boobs, and boners, I knew this wasn’t exactly the study break I signed up for.
The stories were like a fine wine: each got better the more time passed. The second story was about a young girl going through her feminine changes. Her mother told her not to hang out in the field when she had her time of the month because it could be very dangerous (whatever that means). Naturally, the girl decided to go completely against her mother’s warning, went to the field when Aunt Flow was visiting, fell asleep by the river and some kind of blood-hungry lizard entered her. As the legend goes, the only remedy to remove the lizard was to have a man sex it out of her. Then they got married. The end.
Story number three. They told us this would be the most sensual of the three. Basically this sex-deprived housewife starts an innocent flirtation with one of her neighbors. Not wanting to cheat on her husband, she suggests they have a threesome instead. Lo and behold, double penetration.
And that’s all she wrote, folks.
